“Our feelings we with difficulty smother
When the handicapper’s duty’s to be done–
Taking one consideration with another–
The handicapper’s lot is not a happy one.”

With apologies to Messrs Gilbert & Sullivan, this was the predicament facing Port Macquarie Yacht Club’s handicapper when after the abandonment of last Sunday’s scheduled ocean buoy event due to atrocious bar conditions, a replacement river course was sailed.

A reverse direction river east short course was chosen, with the initial confusion amongst the fleet regarding buoy rounding directions being satisfactorily resolved. The problem confronting the club handicapper was that four of the five yachts competing had river handicaps while a single yacht had no handicap for “river events” outside of twilight racing which had its own specific category, with specific handicapping rules in place for this eventuality.

In any event after a briefing indicating a relaxed non pointscore event, with an ebb tide running at around 2 – 3 knots down the first leg, and an 8 – 10 knot easterly breeze the start was less chaotic than may have been expected with the majority of the fleet crossing the start line more or less together, and while Kookaburra 2 trailed the fleet Razamatazz 2 executed a timed run start to perfection and settled in at the head of the fleet, a position she did not relinquish all day.

On the first leg, with the tidal assistance, in light airs, yachts were able to “manufacture” wind and while Razamatazz 2 and Enticer had skipped away, the remaining yachts made good progress resulting in congestion between the remaining yachts at the first mark, with goodwill and good sailing prevailing during remarkably civil roundings.

With the strong runout tide the up river leg saw the fleet spread out with the specialist racers Razamatazz 2 and Enticer sailed by the Vice Commodore and Commodore, respectively, chasing an abating breeze, providing the following yachts with a grand spectacle as those two duelling yachts extended their lead over the remainder of the fleet. Mid fleet Kookaburra 2 was sailing a lonely race while Cool Change and Third Man were struggling in the light airs and strong runout tide.

With the relaxed racing instructions yachts were able to choose whether they sailed two or three laps. Razzamatazz 2 and Enticer sailed three laps while the remainder of the fleet completed two. Razamatazz 2 led Enticer around all marks, with both those yachts lapping the remainder of the fleet with the exception of Kookaburra 2 which managed to avoid that fate by a mere 10 seconds.

The situation facing the handicapper is covered by the handicapping procedures. All yachts elapsed times were extrapolated out to three laps to obtain a benchmark. Logic would have it that under any system Razamatazz 2 must be declared winner, (by a country mile), however handicap rules are that yachts racing without a series type performance handicap must be placed “mid fleet”, for four races to establish a handicap for that class of race. Thus Razamatazz 2 having sailed an almost flawless race found itself relegated to third place in a race with no meaning, other than obtaining the first of four times necessary to establish a river series race handicap. Enticer was declared winner,
with Kookaburra 2 second while the excellently sailed line honours boat under the prevailing rules placed third.

Yes indeed, a handicapper’s lot is not a happy one.